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The Self
, |species=Human |gender=Male |birthdate=??? |deceased state=Presumed Deceased (Joke) |classification=Ancient |occupations=Old git, Former founder of Kusagakure |nature type=Earth Release, Fire Release, Wind Release |unique traits=Robust Moustache, Thick eyebrows |Kekkei Genkai=Shikotsumyaku, Sharingan |Kekkei Tota=Dust Release |clan=Akimichi Clan, Kaguya Clan |shippuden=No |jutsu= Makyō no Ran,Hair Camouflage,Needle Jizō,Needle Hell,Needle Senbon, , Calorie Control,Mizudan Suisha, Chōdan Bakugeki, Nikudan Sensha, Baika no Jutsu, Bubun Baika no Jutsu, Nikudan Hari Sensha, Chō Baika no Jutsu, Chōharite, , Dance of the Camellia, Dance of the Clematis: Flower, Dance of the Clematis: Vine, Dance of the Larch, Dance of the Seedling Fern, Dance of the Willow, Ten-Finger Drilling Bullets, , Rankaken , Dust Release: Detachment of the Primitive World Technique , Wind Release Slash, Wind Release Stream, Wind Release: Vacuum Blade, Wind Release: Vacuum Great Sphere, Wind Release: Vacuum Serial Waves, Wind Release: Vacuum Sphere, Wind Release: Vacuum Wave, |tools= Three Coloured Pills }} The Self (自己, Jiko) is a rheumatic, shambling mix of appetence and the obtuse squeezed into an old leather sack. His robust moustache and thick eyebrows are the crown of his face. A feebleminded, leather-faced, geriatric Old fart; senile, deranged and generally decrepit, wired to thrive on disfunction. Not to be confused with a kindly, grandfather-ly figure, seated in a rocking chair and dressed in a cardigan, He is peculiar and profoundly dimwitted, absurd and greedy; rendered a human vegetable. Personality Dim. Not terribly bright, certainly accident-prone, he has thoughts and feelings, probably, but lacks the intelligence required for articulating them. And though he may imply indifference, even stoicism, he's simply gormless. Speaking with wet lisp, He is unapologetically brusque, irresponsibly abrupt, ill-timed and as perceptive as a rice pudding. Perhaps as definitive of his character as his prodigiously empty mind, he is a consummate epicurean and hopeless gut-bucket; his personal philosophy is that of dog-like fatalism, or a foreordination towards destiny, which directly impacts the manner in which he lives and conducts himself. The weight of the world has crushed his spirit, his apathetic demeanour is inveterate and restless, and though frequently mislabelled as debonair, he does not hope for a better condition and remains remarkably unconcerned. Age has eroded his conscience, abrading his ability to empathise and feel compassion, he makes no attempt to slow it's progress and lethargically accepts his condition. His inability to remember people's faces and names is a constant source of comic relief, which may actually be a combination of poor memory, taxing idiocy and total indifference. Often exaggerating senility and the debilitating extent of his age, he is a capable manipulator and possesses a low cold cunning but lacks the savvy to contemplate consequence. A man of simple desires, he adheres to his own sense of honour and is described as having a unique moral code; attaching value to often unusual objects and events. His exterior is generally permissive and affable, placid and relaxed, and winningly gruff; his demeanour is that of a pleasant, if indifferent, half-dead codger. In general, he is thought of as eccentric and jovial in disposition, depicted as an 'old coot' and known to exhibit difficulty and confusion when identifying gender, as apparently calculating two genders proves to be more than he can count. Appearance A lisping, toothless simpleton with a pot-belly, slant eyes and a blank sheet of paper where a brain should be; Impassive and oblivious with an acid-washed expression, his slack-jawed rictus and vacant stare portray him as a hapless dullard. A bristling, white lip-caterpillar distinguishes his staunch upper lip and accentuates his tapering and wolfish features, with its distinctive, deepening crinkles and jutting cheekbones; rooted lines and furrows seemingly burned in. His cadaverous exterior retains the paisley shape of his youth, punctuated by a swollen, distended paunch, said to precede him, hunched shoulders and yet comparatively scant limbs. A Geezer of robust build, possessing relatively distinct angular and narrow characteristics that are aptly demonstrated by the structure of his chiselled facial features, large toilet resembling gob and curiously sharpened teeth. His body is oddly shaped, big boned and slope shouldered, with bulging guts and a fleshiness indicative of a former obesity and excessive age; a motif resembling a giant root vegetable, despite an otherwise canine-like theme. Whilst his lower body is relatively fat and stubby in comparison, his legs are long and significantly bowed, and his back is hunched in an unflattering manner, implying frailty. Attire Favouring a minimalist theme, his garb adheres to a general 'aged' motif; donning a ragged and patched up ensemble, tired, loose-fitting and resembling that of a derelict or vagrant. Sporting traditional Japanese geta (wooden sandals) and a thick 'tsuna'-like rope-belt (tied at the small of his back) in accompaniment, alluding to a connection to Sumo, His outfit consists two distinct items of clothing, namely weathered, short trousers and a sleeveless brown jacket of sorts. Abilities His elderly appearance is entirely farcical in regards to physical ability; while seemingly frail, he is, in actuality, quite the opposite. He appears to carry himself with an air of fragility, to the point where he will feign ailment and injury, exaggerate his idiocy and fall asleep on command. Beneath the facade, his true capabilities are considered abominable and unnatural given his advanced age; His physique boasts an unrefined and monstrous strength. A creature of instinct, an old and frothing dog, he is not one for forethought or strategy, instead favouring savagery; his appetite is often the deciding factor in any action. Despite being profoundly dense, he has demonstrated a tremendous instinct for conflict and an almost opportunistic sense of timing. A blunt instrument by definition, he is positioned as a primitive, primordial being who is more an animal than a man, and who excels with extreme and brutal efficiency. Though frequently restrained, his strength and brutality is compounded; a captured wild animal, a creature of instinct that simply and literally fights for its survival. His continued existence straddles the cusp between life and death, and as such, his vitality and capabilities are the subject of rumour and superstition. It has been said that the proximity with which he parallels death has rendered him half alive and half...something else, granting him a plethora of greater inhuman abilities. Weapon of massive consumption His appetite is enormous, gluttony serves as both his defining characteristic and as his most voracious ailment; satiety perennially eludes him. His seemingly withering constitution has been perfectly adapted for consumption, His gastrointestinal tract boasts an exceptionally corrosive stomach acid; equipped with tremendous digestive capabilities, rendering the ingestion of poisons, bacteria and toxins entirely obsolete and void, in addition to minute projectile possibilities. His mouth possesses a multitude of serrated teeth and is capable of indefinitely and cartoonishly extending to encompass potential meals, the calories obtained from which are entirely under his control and converted at will. Additionally, His torso has been shown to contain several 'pocket-like apertures', accessible through the rib cage, wherein items can be stored and through which his internal organs can be retrieved. Taijutsu Heavily influenced by the traditional art of Sumo Wrestling, reflecting his 'aged' motif, his favoured method of physical confrontation and general combat base adheres to the inherent and simplistic principles therein, utilising amplified versions of the preexisting 'Kimarite' or winning techniques, a low, crouching stance and signature open-palm strikes or 'Harite'. The style maintains a distinct balance between offensive and defensive capabilities, using strength and a rooted approach, under the ethos of forward motion and the refusal to give ground. Admittedly, it is a form that appears to lack subtlety, emphasising the refinement of exterior and physical prowess, with simple applications and attacks. Trivia *The Self has been referred to by many names, the current is based on a self-aware Tape Worm infesting the protagonist of Irvine Welch's novel 'Filth'.